Sunday 14 August 2016

‘I AM OBSESSED WITH MYSELF’ ! (Part 1)

Hey hunnies. How are you guys? I hope you’re all good!

So it has been the #lovingyourselfweek on my social media accounts (links on the right) for the past two weeks and I’ve been posting loads of posts relating to loving yourself.  I asked some lovely ladies to explain what 'loving yourself' means to them and I posted their responses on my social media pages, so if you haven’t seen them, go check them out now!
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I am sure the title of this blogpost made you look twice but hopefully by the end of this post you will be you will understand the reality of being obsessed with yourself and become ‘obsessed’ with yourself too!


So how did I come up with this title? Well, I have spoken to a few young ladies and asked them to tell me what they like and dislike about themselves. One thing I noticed was that the list of dislikes was always longer than likes and this just didn’t sit right with me. I also conducted a poll on twitter asking the same question where 212 ladies voted, and these were the results:


So why is it that 51% of the voters (108 ladies) said their list of dislikes would be longer? What are your thoughts? In my opinion ladies, we are too hard on ourselves! We don't place enough value on our strengths, our positive characteristics/traits and how great we actually are, but rather we focus on the negatives. What we dislike about ourselves holds too much value in our lives and we spend too much time pondering and focusing on these negative attributes. This needs to change. Our thoughts needs to change. Our mindset needs to change. Our atiitudes need to change.

This is what motivated me to write this piece and title it as I am obsessed with myself’ because obsession with oneself in terms of loving yourself is the true key to success (as DJ Khaled would say).


I came across a quote from Mandy Hale, an author who inspires single women, that says It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself and to make your happiness a priority. It’s necessary’. This is spot on. Loving yourself is all types of necessary because if you don’t love yourself who will? I can imagine a few readers reading this and thinking that this sounds so cliche and it’s said all the time, but sometimes a gentle reminder is needed because although we may be told to love ourselves repeatedly, not enough females are genuinely demonstrating this self love that we are supposed to have!


Now, it must be acknowledged that not all types of self-love are rooted in positive foundations, some types of self love are prideful, arrogant and self-conceited. However, the type of self love I encourage all of us to have derives from being thankful of the person God has created. Understanding that you are special and have a unique purpose upon your life. This is reiterated in John Hagee’s book ‘Seven Secrets of Success for the Graduate’ where he states that 'when you love yourself, you are able to fulfill what God had created you to accomplish on this Earth!'


As I previously mentioned, we are repeatedly told to love ourselves, yet not enough of us do so. One of the reasons that affect our self love (that I have noticed) is the constant need for validation from others. Whether this is through the compliments we receive, the likes and comments on our instagram pictures or validation through our various relationships. This is why loving yourself before you can love anyone else is so important or you are likely to find yourself expecting another person to fill a void/emptiness that you have not yet filled yourself. If your heart is full of self-doubt and feelings of inferiority, then what can you give to your friends and loved ones?


Imagine being involved in a relationship filled with self-doubt, insecurities and paranoia as a result of a lack of love for yourself? This leads to nothing but disappointment and heartache! A practical example of this was when I had a boyfriend in my first year at university. I was insecure and did not appreciate myself as much as I deserved. I sought validation from what people used to tell me and didn’t believe I was good enough until I heard it from others (not good)! So when he used to compliment me, I would smile, blush temporarily, then revert back to negative, insecure thoughts I had about myself. Clearly his compliments only gave me temporary satisfaction! And this is what usually happens when you are not in LOVE with yourself.

Until you have accepted yourself for the way you are, no one can make you feel better or give you that satisfaction that you seek, because the process starts with you.
Before others can accept you for who you are, YOU have to accept you for who you are. I cannot stress this enough!

In Part 2, I am going to give practical steps for how you can love and value yourself more and what has worked for me. It's easy to read this post and do nothing about it, but I want to see a practical change hunnies! You are special. Don't EVER forget that.

Stay tuned.