Young males and ladies need to realise that it is okay to be single! This is a
statement that I have been saying to myself a lot more frequently especially
since relationships are suddenly on the increase. I have noticed that relationships are
held in such high esteem in our generation, even before one thinks about their
academics and career choices. People always feel like they need to be loved,
like they need to have someone that will be always there for them, to
constantly compliment them and make them feel good about themselves. This
mentality will leave you lonely. If you are not happy within yourself first, no
other person can come into your life to make you feel happy. True happiness
comes from within and not from validation from the opposite sex.
I have spoken to a few people my age about their
relationship experiences and more often than not, there were more negative effects
than positives. Don’t get me wrong, I am not against relationships at this age
because there are definitely some successful ones, I just believe that too many
young people get into relationships for the wrong reasons and then end up worse
than they were before they got into the relationship.
From my personal experiences, I have learnt a lot and have
come up with a few pieces of advice that I believe everyone should take on
board when getting into a relationship.
Don’t
1 – Do not make your partner your everything. This may sound
strange, but you actually did have a life before you got into your
relationship, so if you feel like you can’t live without your
boyfriend/girlfriend you need to make a change.
2 – Don’t allow yourself to be dragged down. Any sort of
relationship you find yourself in should be elevating and positive. Improving
as a person should constantly be the goal! Having a partner, particularly at
this age, can easily slow you down because you find yourself concentrating on pleasing
the other person for the majority of the time rather than focusing on yourself.
Do
1 – Stay true to yourself. You know who you are and where
you came from, don’t compromise that because of love/lust. The reason why I say lust is because believe it or not, most young people enter relationships based on the outward appearance of their significant other, so are you in love or are you in lust?
2 – Get your priorities straight. For example, in my life I
know that God and my family come before anything, so I would never make a
partner of mine more important. Ever.
3 – Have mentors and good friends around you who
you can be accountable to. You need these people around you to always keep you
in check when you’re about to slip up. When you're accountable to someone, you're less likely to make many of the silly mistakes you find yourself making constantly!
Thanks for reading my second blog post. Make the right
choices and remember to always put yourself and your happiness first. Your boyfriend/girlfriend will come when the time is right! Don't rush!
*One thing led to another* written by a beautiful wise woman (Dr. Grace Sola - Oludoyi - who happens to be my mum) is such a great and insightful book about the unhealthy games singles play in relationships. It fits in well with this topic and gives a lot more concrete, Godly
advice on relationships. Email me if you’re interested inspire.ldn@gmail.com X
Have a blessed week. Love you guys x
